Not Gray Yet!
Eduardo, for his birthday, quoted a bit of Edward FitzGerald's Rubaiyatt of Omar Khayyam, and I thought that seemed as appropriate as any poem to quote from for a birthday (especially since I just read through the whole thing last week and dissected it this week), so I shall do the same for mine:
With them the seed of Wisdom did I sow,
Into this Universe, and Why not knowing
And with mine own hand wrought to make it grow;
And this was all the Harvest that I reap'd—
“I came like Water, and like Wind I go.”
Nor Whence, like Water willy-nilly flowing;
And out of it, as Wind along the Waste,
I know not Whither, willy-nilly blowing.
Yes, it is my birthday today (well, actually, my birthday ended 56 minutes ago in my time zone). It has been a quiet, but very nice day. I spent most of the day with my mother (my dad has a cold, so he is going to celebrate with me later this week). It was exactly the kind of peaceful day that I wanted.
I was given several nice gifts. A friend and professor of mine gave me the Great Passion by Eberhard Busch, an expert on Barthian theology and Karl Barth's last personal assistant, as a birthday present. This is the professor who introduced me to Barth a while back. The book looks like it works through the major theology of Barth with a well written narration and a substantial helping of quotes from Dogmatics and other writings of Barth. At any rate, I started reading that today, which was fun.
My mother gave me a nice, compact, leather covered New Century Version Bible, which seems really nice. I'm not familiar with the NCV, but in comparing it against the NIV, and out of memory, with the KJV, NLT and NRSV, it seems to do a good job of saying the same things in a way that is more like modern English idiom (just a cursory survey). It strikes me that it did not seem dumbed down as much as the NLT and CEV sometimes strike me as doing (not to pick on those translations, I like them, but sometimes they seem that they targeted too simple of vocabulary).
As a side note: I've been trying to give the ESV a bit of a try, but I find I'm lazy and keep returning to my NIV as my primary study Bible. However, since my One Year Bible is in the NLT, that is probably what I read the most. I like the NLT better than the CEV, but both seem overly simplified to me at times. For my Old Testament course, we are using a version of the NRSV with extensive notes from the Society for Biblical Literature, and I must say I rather like it as well, although it isn't as pleasant as the others for light reading. However, I suspect that it could very well become one of my favorites by the time I get done with the course. We'll see how this new NCV shakes out, but perhaps it will edge out my pocket-sized NIV, which is starting to get kind of worn (especially since an open package of Lifesavers candies accidentally got pressed against the pages)…
Quiet
Thanks to everyone for the prayers related to this request. Sorry to have been rather silent this week. I'll hopefully post something more tomorrow, but I wanted to say at least that much tonight.
Bad Day, Redux
Today was a painful day, connected to the “bad day” I experienced last October (the date of which, October 20, has been emblazoned in my mind), as well as the much more positive post I made this past May about calling. Much of what had caused the bad day last October had been due to mistaken information, much of what caused today's is the confirmation that those mistakes are no longer mistaken. The pain is dull right now, I've not yet had it sink in — I know I am in shock.
How I'd love to write more, to talk about this, but I can't. I covet an outlet, but must be content to just stew on this for now. I've not yet given up, I've come too far to throw in the towel after feeling as though I was being lead for over a year. I hope beyond hope that I've again misunderstood something, but what I misunderstood before has become so explicitly clear, I cannot see how.
In many ways, it is probably best I cannot detail things. While I have no doubt about the long term impact of this, I realize it would probably seem minor and petty from the outside (perhaps it does even to myself if I can try to position myself as an impartial observer). In the midst of so many problems I see people suffering, I have very little to complain about.
All I'd say for now, is that if I might be selfish, I would appreciate your prayers. Prayers, mostly, about clarity concerning God's leading. If He really is leading in the direction I thought, I need to understand how to get past this show stopper of a roadblock. If I've misunderstood, I need to know where I am really suppose to be going. I have no doubt that God leads me, I just know I'm often too dense to really see where it is He wants me.
It is (Almost) Finished
Well, it has taken far more time than I originally planned to spend on it (especially since I have work to do), but for a combination of reasons, I pressed ahead and have pretty much finished my play, now christened Deafening Silence. The play itself weighs in at five acts spanning 23 pages, not counting the preface or post-play analysis pieces I've been working on. It isn't perfect, but it turned out better than I expected.
The big question is what to do with it now that it is mostly finished. And, I cannot say I'm exactly sure. I can say this much: I plan to give a nicely printed copy to the person to whom it is dedicated and that may be as far as Deafening Silence goes for now.
I'd still be more than happy to gain some more “beta testers” for the script, should anyone have failed to comment in my last post on the subject but is still interested.
Photo Album
Well, I planned to post this the next day after my last post, but I've added some new pictures to my photo album. You'll find some pictures from my spring trip to the Ozarks, as well as some summery stuff in a new album. I had planned to put my PQ results for July finally up, using the gallery to post it, but when I downloaded my pictures from my camera, I could not find the ones I'd taken for the Photo Quest. Hrmf!
Monday hailed the beginning of the fall semester of classes, so I'll probably be a bit quiet, but I was a bit quiet before, so I guess nothing will seem all that different.
Do Not Go Gentle into That Good Night
My grandmother died tonight after a horrible battle with Alzheimers that was clearly ongoing for at least seven years. It is truly a most cruel of diseases, but one thing it cannot be accused of is using the element of surprise against its victims. Still I feel a bit of “cognitive dissonence” about this — it is hard to sync the reality with my intellectual knowledge that this was imminent.
Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
-Dylan Thomas
Oh Well.
I don't think I am going to get last month's Photo Quest done, so I might as well resign myself to that fact. If I get time, great, but otherwise, I'll post it when I post this month's. I had a block of time to work on my computer today, but I spent it all getting my old files onto the new computer, rather than actually getting anything like a PQ done.
What a Week
I was going to do the PhotoQuest finally, but I am so tired, I think I shall instead just complain.
It has been quite a week. I went into it a bit tired from my re-org project. I've moved onto my office now, and it has a ways to go. So far, I've moved out several old computers, retired a HP PSC 2210 inkjet multifunction in favor of a new Brother 7820N networked laser multifunction, and started clearing off my hard disk in preparation for a new computer which arrived today.
The week also started off with a big worry. I wrote about it in a prayer request on TSN. A friend of mine residing in another part of the country, who normally seems to returns calls very quickly, failed to do so for five days. I had a bad feeling that something was wrong almost from the beginning, since this all started when the said friend called at an odd time (for her) on last Saturday and I missed the call… I started to wonder what the call had been about, since there was no message. Thankfully, after actually sending an e-mail noting my concern (rather than just saying I was returning the call, as I had previously), she called and my fears that something bad might have happened turned out to be false. That was truly a wonderful relief and an answered prayer!
Unfortunately, the call from her coincided with a call from my grandmother's nursing home that said what we had suspected for several days: that my grandmother is making a steep decline and death seems eminent. I won't hash out all the details here, but I'd ask for prayers. You can find a bit more of the details, along with more specific prayer requests here. I blogged about the beginning of the long journey that has been most pronounced part of my grandmother's decline here on asisaid a couple of years ago.
It has been an emotionally and physically draining week. Now, I think I should get some sleep.
Reorganization
I've been busy reorganizing my bedroom/study area. I've added some new book cases, a new desk to setup a spare computer or two on and a new file cabinet; I've also just generally tried to straighten everything. That last part isn't quite done yet. But that's why I've been so scarce the past few days. Expect my return soon. Oh, and I have my Photo Quest ready… in fact, I even redid part of it! Hopefully, more will be said on that, tomorrow.
On the Road Again
I'm heading out for a short trip down to the Ozarks. I need to talk to the Cranium Leakage folks before next time, that way we can meet. I'll be waving as I go by…
See y'all on Friday, after which I'll review Mame and explain what the new features are on asisaid.
