The Only One

So afraid to open your eyes, hypnotized.
You know you're not the only one
Never understood this life.
And you're right, I don't deserve
But you know I'm not the only one.

We're all grieving,
Lost and bleeding.

All our lives,
We've been waiting
For someone to call our leader.
All your lies,
I'm not believing.
Heaven shine a light down on me.

Don't look down,
Don't look into the eyes of the world beneath you.
Don't look down, you'll fall down,
You'll become their sacrifice.

Right or wrong.
Can't hold onto the fear that I'm lost without you.
If I can't feel, I'm not mine,
I'm not real.

—A. Lee

There's a lot in this song — it has an almost apocalyptic edge, I think, along the lines of “Whisper,” but it also has a more direct message for “When they all come crashing down, midflight.” To what extent do problems arise when one thinks he or she is “the only one?” To what extent would the problems be solved when realizing others are just as grieved?

Web Ads Challenge

As I do every so often, I had a debate with a fellow blogger the other day about ad blocking. My assumptions are rather straightforward:

• Ads don't pay much, but they can pay for the bandwidth a fairly busy site needs.
• Ads are clearly the “price” for using the site, so long as they are attached to the content of the site (pop ups and pop unders are a different story).
• A laborer is worthy of his wages (Luke 10.7), so when I am asked to “pay” something for content that I request (and web pages are requested not pushed to me, after all), I should pay what I am asked.
• If the requested price is too high (annoying ads), I don't buy the product (I find a web site that works that doesn't annoy me).

Now my friend thinks that is unfair: he doesn't like ads, so why should he have to view them? For me the answer is simple: if you value what you are receiving, why wouldn't you? In any other situation, I expect to pay if someone requests a payment for something I value and want. And, more importantly, if it is costing the content provider money to send the content to you that you requested (and make no mistake, bandwidth is still costly), why should the content provider not only provide you with content you value but also eat the cost of you viewing it?

I've heard a number of people say, “but I already pay my teleco $40/month for Internet, that grants me the right to view the web without paying more.” This is a flawed perspective, because ISPs do not (and, really, should not) pay me if you view my site. The argument is essentially like saying, “I had to pay a toll to cross the toll bridge on the way to the movie theater, therefore, it is fine if I slip into the theater without paying… I've already paid that money to get there!”

If everyone adblocked, even if sites don't make much from ads, I propose many sites would shut down since not even basic operating costs would be covered. If one can run a helpful site and come out even, that's great; if one needs to dump $50, $100, $1,000 down the hole every month, it becomes a lot harder to justify. I don't think any of us want our favorite sites to shut down, right?

My friend suggested sites should move over to subscription fees. This sounds like a good idea, but I challenge anyone thinking this sounds like a good idea to stop for a moment. Imagine if every time you did a Google search, every result you pulled up that was formerly ad-supported instead required even a small subscription price, say $.50 for a month of service (though an ad may pay a penny or less, due to the costs of credit card transactions, I can't imagine a monthly fee being any lower than that, unless you pre-payed annually, and for many sites, would you really want to do that?). Most users would find this a bad deal.

How many sites have I visited via Google only to quickly turn around and move on? Even at $.50/month, I would feel really hesitant to load up a site I didn't know was going to be of some value. Conversely, what harm is it if I see an ad graced by the Verizon Wireless guy? None for me, but the site owner — who may own a site that serves people just fine — is being helped to keep the site running.

I probably visit, say, ten ad supported sites regularly, plus dozens more per month doing research. Let's be really conservative and say I only visit fifty ad supported sites per month: that's still $25/month. Presenting this cost to him, my friend said he could easily deal without the commercial sites and just use non-ad based sites.

Another idea: switch to a text based browser. Sure, even with a text based browser it costs the site owner bandwidth (and, hence, money) to serve you, but it costs far less than serving you the graphics that make sites pretty and enjoyable to use. It's a compromise: the site owner doesn't get paid, but you don't see ads and don't cost the owner quite as much.

So I made this challenge to my friend, which he didn't like. There are sites like Slashdot that do offer ad-free subscriptions. Pay for those and get rid of the ads while still supporting the site. On other sites, block the site as a whole if it has an ad on it. If ad based sites are truly of little value, simply blocking the site itself wouldn't be a problem at all. If, after taking my challenge, you find yourself tired of paying for subscriptions on some sites and being unable to use other sites at all, then I would argue that the ad based sites must be providing value to you.

And, if that's the case, why not do your favorite sites' owners a favor and let the ads load? On a site like Open for Business, basically all the ads pay for are the network services necessary to run the site. Nothing else. So here's the food for thought: when you block ads, you aren't “sticking it to the man” who is becoming filthy rich, you're actually punishing the owners of your favorite sites for serving you.

Something to think about.

Happy iPhone Day!

If you haven't already had a chance to enjoy an unboxing of an iPhone 3G S, I've put some up for you, right here. The 3G S seems to deliver on its promise: apps load even faster and more smoothly while the 3G radio is amazingly fast compared to 2.5G EDGE.

In early tests, it seems that the AT&T UTMS/HSDPA network is indeed as fast as they claim, competing ably against Verizon's Ev-DO network. On the other hand, it is always tricky to judge handsets' performance from two different carriers, since there are so many variables.

I don't have a lot of other observations just yet, but I did write about the launch event itself today on Open for Business

For All the Complaining About Apple...

It seems that Apple's policies toward the iPhone may turn out to actually be rather generous, based on some reports coming out about Palm's own policies towards the Pre (and, I'd guess, future webOS devices). Engadget says,

Even worse for hackers, Palm's taking an unusually aggressive approach to webOS system updates — they're mandatory. According to the support docs, webOS updates are automatically downloaded in the background within two days of being available, and they're required to be installed within a week of the download — after seven days and four install prompts, the phone will give you a ten-minute countdown and then automatically begin installing the update.

Keep in mind, that for all the fuss that Apple's updates have sometimes “bricked” phones, as I have noted before, no one was required to upgrade. Anyone doing something unsupported with the phone should have had the common sense to wait to see what more experienced testers found rather than plunging ahead. If you don't want to play within the rules, don't call the referee when things don't go smoothly.

In any case, many people have advocated the Pre as being a far more open, tolerant, Linux-like answer to the iPhone. It is interesting that in this very context that the Pre has a far more restrictive, big brother styled policy on upgrades. If a Pre ends up being bricked after a forced upgrade… that'll be when people can get upset fairly.

Hopefully Palm will come to its senses. I think the Pre has almost endless possibility, but this sort of thing (and some other misfires Palm has made in recent months) could put at risk its otherwise brilliant strategy.

I'm tbutler on Facebook

Well, I couldn't miss the landgrab. At 11:01 CDT tonight, I was at the Facebook username request page and nabbed “tbutler,” my standard username. I thought about “timbutler” or “timothybutler,” but decided simpler was better.

Anyone else grab a name tonight? I know my fellow Cranium Leakers Christopher and Michael did…

Verizon Mi-Fi

I reviewed the Mi-Fi using Verizon's 3G network earlier in the week. If you've been considering this nifty little device, take a look — I even look at how the device interacts with the iPhone. You won't want to miss it!

Journeying On

It's been a rough couple of weeks. It's a long story I'll save for another time, but I wanted to post something rather than completely disappear from my blog.

The basic result of the last few weeks occurrences is that I have had to rethink some things I have been doing. Sometimes it is time to move on. I don't like moving on from this or that thing that I have been doing for years, but sometimes it is the right thing to do. I had to make the decision to move on from a project I have been involved in for years this week.

I'm looking forward to focusing on new things… some of which I may be able to detail here soon.

The Five Most Influential Albums

I was thinking the other day about which (music) albums have been the most influential on me. Not which ones are most profound, but which ones have stood the test of time so that year after year they continue to established the baseline for my musical taste. Each of the following actually altered my musical taste to some degree. These are the ones that keep being played month after month and year after year. Though I lack musical performance ability, if I had the ability to compose music, I rather think it would sound like a mix of these.

5. The Screen Behind the Mirror (Enigma) — It's a bit “different,” but Enigma creates a sound that is grand in scale. The interweaving of Carl Orff's Carmina Burana into a rich texture of traditional and electronic sounds creates an unforgettable, intriguing and haunting sound on this album. I'm not really sure how to describe Engima if you haven't heard it. But imagine rock, alternative, gregorian chant and classical blended together to the point that the parts are no longer really separate and you have an idea. If you haven't heard them, you are missing out on something.

4. No Angel (Dido) — I remember first hearing Dido perform on TV not long after this, her first CD, came out. I didn't pick up the CD for several years after that, but “Here With Me” immediately stuck in my head. It sets the tone very well for the whole CD. This album, like Engima, creates what I can only think to call an immensely large sound stage. It envelopes the listener into something large, somewhat dark and out of the ordinary.

3. Sixpence None the Richer (Sixpence None the Richer) — the eponymous album was my entry point into the band and remains my favorite album from them (and this comes from a guy that owns every album the group has put out so far, along with most of their singles). Few albums that I've listened to feel so much like a cohesive whole as this one, yet each song stands on its own as well. While some of Sixpence's best work is contained in their earlier albums and “Divine Discontent” is nothing to sneeze at, their self-titled album's constant, catchy and mature sound sets it apart. Capturing the experience of the band as it struggled to survive, it is full of feeling and contains a deep combination of allusions that make it a “thinking” album.

2. The Book of Secrets (Loreena McKennitt) — The gem of this album, in my estimation, is “Dante's Prayer” — an absolutely beautiful interweaving of McKennitt's celtic sound with Dante's story and an Eastern Orthodox choir. I cannot help but here it now when I read the Divine Comedy. While that is the height, the rest of the album similarly is rich in texture and filled with emotive lyrics that invoke the objective correlative.

1. Fallen (Evanescence) — What I like about Evanescence is not far off from what impresses me about Engima: it is a genre bending band that integrates classical elements into something very distinctly modern. Evanescence's heavy use of a backing symphony orchestra and chorale creates perhaps the perfect example of the postmodern juxtaposition. The dark, brooding nature is a rich musical landscape that expresses what I have come to call the “tragedy of the ordinary fate” extremely well. The high point, in my estimation, is single unit of “Tourniquet” and “Imaginary” (though neither is my favorite song in isolation) — the two tracks blend together with a symphonic musical interlude in between which is really quite haunting and I wish had been developed into something longer.

Perhaps I'll do a series on further thoughts on each of these CD's individually over the summer. I've thought a lot about them over the last few years and have been trying to objectively identify what makes them so particularly memorable to me. I'm getting closer to formulating something — there's a theme the adept observer may be able to see in what I've listed above.

In any case, what are your five? (Remember: what is the most influential to you, not what is the most profound or impressive or whatever else.)

I Have Survived

Over the last 24 hours I've begun to decompress. Last night I finished my final final and polished up my last exegetical paper of the semester. After the crazily intense Jan-Term Hebrew Weak Verbs course jumping into the semester this spring was a challenge and the particular way this semester's schedule fell out only made things more difficult to hold together. Though I learned a lot, I have to say I have never been more thankful to have reached the point where I can say, “I am done.”

That's not to say I am done entirely, of course. I have three semesters left at Covenant. And I'm not in a particularly hurry to move on. I'm just happy to be able to focus my time on other things for a few months. I am about four to five months behind on many of my projects. Sheesh.

No One Would Think to Ask

Here's a fun little meme that I was tagged on via Facebook.

Answer these 30 Things No One Would Think To Ask. Then tag me so I can come and have a look. After that, tag friends who you'd like to answer these questions.

Feel free to answer below or otherwise comment on where you answered the questions.

1. Have you ever been searched by the cops?
No.

2. Do you close your eyes on roller coasters?
I don't think so. I've only been on one or two — I'm a fast learner when it comes to things like establishing I'm not a roller coaster guy.

3. When's the last time you've been sledding?
I really couldn't say.

4. Would you rather sleep with someone else or alone?
I'm happy enough to have my cat lay on my bed. Other than that, I'm unmarried, so I'll say alone.

5. Do you believe in ghosts?
No, if you mean tortured souls unable to escape the earth. But, “There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,
Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.”

6. Do you consider yourself creative?
Yes, I believe so. I like creative pursuits such as poetry.

7. Do you think O.J. killed his wife?
Yes.

8. Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie?
To the extent hearing about celebrities is unavoidable, Jolie has always bugged me. But, honestly, I think I will decline to comment.

9. Can you honestly say you know ANYTHING about politics?
Yes. McCain would have been a better president than Obama. Huckabee would have been a better president than either of them. I'd be a better president than all three of 'em.

10. Do you know how to play poker?
Probably at some point I did. I forget how to play card games if I don't play them frequently.

11. Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?
No.

12. What's your favorite commercial?
Of recent commercials, “Clay.” Otherwise, I'm not sure, 1984 is hard to top.

13. Who was your first love?
A.G. She is still a friend (I saw her last week for the first time in ages, as a matter of fact), and one who might not want to pop up on a Google search in this context, so initials are all you are going to get.

14. If you're driving in the middle of the night, and no one is around you, do you run a red light?
No.

15. Do you have a secret that no one knows but you?
Yes, probably so.

16. Boston Red Sox or New York Yankees?
Yankees, just because of what the Soxs did to us in 2004.

17. Have you ever been Ice Skating?
No. Had I, I may not be here today!

18. How often do you remember your dreams?
I probably remember something about them most mornings, but usually only a tidbit or two.

19. What's the one thing on your mind?
Deadlines.

20. Do you always wear your seat belt?
Yes.

21. What talent do you wish you had?
The ability to play musical instruments.

22. Do you like Sushi?
I like my meat cooked, thank you very much.

23. What do you wear to bed?
A t-shirt and pajama bottoms.

24. Do you truly hate anyone?
No.

25. If you could sleep with one famous person, who would it be?
I wouldn't.

26. Do you know anyone in jail?
Not really.

27. What food do you find disgusting?
Tuna. Blue Cheese. Anything made of brains.

28. Have you ever made fun of your friends behind their back?
Probably at some point. I try not to.

29. Have you ever been punched in the face?
Not that I recall. Then again…

30. Do you believe in angels and demons?
Yes and I'd tie that in with number 5.