Left Behind: The Language of God?

I'm wondering if Tim LaHaye and Jerry Jenkins think that God's linguistic abilities somehow got left behind in the 17th century, and, to boot, that God is a sound-byte type of God that only has a few things to say. Why do I wonder this, all of a sudden? Well, last summer I read the Glorious Appearing, the final part of the main 12-book Left Behind series. It annoyed me for a simple reason: Jesus was given a “speaking role” in it, but all he did was act like a Denziger theologian who is more than able to perfectly quote Scripture but not say anything new or directly phrased in response to what was going on “in the now.”

The fictional Jesus of Appearing, if anything, seemed rather like someone who would have fit well in a presidential debate: ask a question and get back a pre-assembled, stump speech answer. Other than the heavy push to make sure you knew the bad guys from the good guys, I think the authors came dangerously close to making the Antichrist seem more in tune with people than Christ. But, I got over it and moved on to better books.

Last weekend, I started reading the Rising. As a whole, I'd say this first part of the new prequel trilogy to Left Behind is actually more exciting than the final few novels of the main series, but again God is given a chance to speak and, in my opinion, He comes off rather stiff. While the Bible is wonderful, the God of the Left Behind world is made to feel distant because He only quotes Scriptures, he does not respond directly. It's as if LaHaye and Jenkins think God is a giant magic-8 ball that has preset answers.

It is fiction yes, but I'm left to wonder: why are they making God so unlike the real living Word? Are they just afraid to write fictional words into God's “mouth” or do they really find God that way in their own lives?