BREAKING NEWS from CBS News
- MEMO ONE: White House is Actually Blue
- MEMO TWO: CBS News Announces New Spokesman
White House is Actually Blue
NEW YORK (CBS News) — CBS News has obtained documents that confirm, without a doubt, that the White House is actually Blueberry Buckle blue, a shade of paint produced by Behr Process Corporation. It is true that the documents appear to be incorrect, at first, since the White House appears to be a shade near what its name implies, but that simply is not the case.
According to Dan Rather, anchor of CBS Evening News, “These documents are true. This story is true. It is as true as a sweating bird on a 110 degree day.” Rather, who reported these findings on Wednesday in a shocking 60 Minutes II segment, explained that the White House has actually been painted with Behr's Blueberry Buckle since the days of George Washington.
When close minded partisans questioned the omniscient report, pointing to the fact that the White House clearly seems to have a white coloration, Rather responded, “it is possible that a certain color of blue could actually look white.” Other right wing conspiracy nuts argued that the White House could not have been painted Behr's Buckleberry Blue color since the time of the first president since Behr was founded in 1947. “The fact remains that some companies did produce Buckleberry Blue capable paint in the 1790's,” Rather explained during this morning's press conference.
CBS News also confirmed that it had brought in ink experts who had examined the paint on the White House and confirmed that it appeared to confirm what the CBS obtained memos stated. While one of those experts has since claimed that he only was shown several paint swatches that he confirmed could be from Behr, a CBS spokeswoman said “We believed him the first time we talked to him.”
Rather, when questioned about a possible retraction, insisted no apology would be coming. “We have reported serious questions about the color of the White House. Instead of nitpicking about the documents we discovered, both the President and Martha Stewart should answer the serious questions it raises about our country's decorating taste. This story is true.”
CBS News Announces New Spokesman
NEW YORK (CBS News) — CBS News announced today that it had secured a contract with the one person best known around the world for telling only the truth to fill the position of chief spokesman for the news agency. Muhammed Saeed al-Sahaf will begin next Monday after moving into a new residence in Manhattan.
al-Sahaf, who formerly used his special talents for management and clear, truthful communication to operate the Iraqi Information Ministry, said he was delighted at the new position. “There are no Republican infidels in CBS News. Never!” he responded to assertions that CBS News might be connected to the vast right wing conspiracy.
While not yet officially in his position, al-Sahaf, who is still residing in Baghdad, which he told CBS News was still free from President Bush's imperial army, sprang to action when someone asked about CBS News's plummeting viewership. “I blame CNN and Fox News - they are marketing for the Republicans!”
Join the Conversation
RE: BREAKING NEWS from CBS News
RatherGate!!! Below is a NewsMax.com article that says CBS steered the forged document source to the Kerry Campaign!!!
( http://www.newsmax.com/archives/ic/2004/9/20/225421.shtml )
With Carl Limbacher and NewsMax.com Staff
For the story behind the story…
Monday, Sept. 20, 2004 10:52 p.m. EDT
CBS Steered Forged Doc Source to Kerry Campaign
In what may be the most damaging revelation yet in the Rathergate document scandal, CBS News is admitting that it steered the source of forged military records damaging to President Bush to the Kerry campaign.
In exchange for the meeting with Kerry communications director Joe Lockhart, that source - former National Guard Commander Bill Burkett - agreed to give CBS copies of the Bush records.
USA Today is set to report in Tuesday editions:
“Lockhart, the former press secretary to President Clinton, said a female producer talked to him about the “60 Minutes” program a few days before it aired on Sept. 8. She gave Lockhart a telephone number and asked him to call Bill Burkett.”
“At Burkett’s request, we gave his [telephone] number to the campaign,” Betsy West, senior CBS News vice president, confessed to USA Today.
Late Monday, CBS said it was investigating the role of “60 Minutes” star producer Mary Mapes in setting up the contact between Burkett and Lockhart.
“The network’s effort to place Burkett in contact with a top Democratic official raises ethical questions about CBS’s handling of material potentially damaging to the Republican president in the midst of an election,” the paper said.
Aly Colón, a news ethicist at the Poynter Institute for Media Studies, said the collusion between CBS and the Kerry campaign to damage President Bush “poses a real danger to the potential credibility of a news organization.”
The White House reacted sharply to the Lockhart development, with Communications Director Dan Bartlett complaining, “The fact that CBS News would coordinate with the most senior levels of Senator Kerry’s campaign to attack the president is a stunning and deeply troubling revelation.”
RE: BREAKING NEWS from CBS News
RatherGate!!! Below is a NewsMax.com article that says the Kerry Campaign knew about the forged documents Sixty Minutes BEFORE the Sixty Minutes broadcast!!!
( http://www.newsmax.com/archives/ic/2004/9/21/123950.shtml )
With Carl Limbacher and NewsMax.com Staff
For the story behind the story…
Tuesday, Sept. 21, 2004 12:17 a.m. EDT
Kerry Campaign Touted Forged Doc Info in April
The Kerry campaign made an explicit reference to information in at least one of four forged military documents broadcast 14 days ago by CBS’s “60 Minutes” - in a detailed campaign press release attacking President Bush’s National Guard service dated months before the Sept. 8 “60 Minutes” broadcast.
Appearing in Kerry campaign literature on April 27, 2004, under the headline “Key Unanswered Questions on Bush’s Record in National Guard” was the reference to “verbal orders” to recommend Bush’s suspension from flying because he missed a physical - issued by Bush’s commander, Lt. Col. Jerry Killian on Aug. 1, 1972.
One of the forged Killian memos broadcast by CBS is also dated Aug. 1, 1972, and chronicles Killian’s “verbal orders” to suspend Bush:
“I conveyed my verbal orders to commander, 147th [Fighter Interceptor Group] with request for orders for suspension and covening a flight review board IAW AFM 35-13.” [END OF FORGED KILLIAN MEMO EXCERPT]
The April 27 Kerry campaign press release cites Killian’s “verbal orders” for suspension as a “Fact”:
“FACT: The order suspending Bush from flight duty stated: ‘Verbal orders of the Comdr on 1 Aug 72 suspending 1STLT George W. Bush from flying status are confirmed Reason for Suspension: Failure to accomplish annual medical examination. Off will comply with para 2-10, AFM 35-13. Authority: Para 2-29m, AFM 35-13. (Aeronautical Orders, Number 87, 29 September 1972)’” [END OF KERRY RELEASE EXCERPT]
In the next paragraph, the Kerry campaign cited a provision in the Air Force Manual that served as a guideline for Killian’s decision to suspend Bush:
“AFM 35-13: … After reviewing the findings of the investigation, the local commander may convene a Flying Evaluation Board or forward through command channels a detailed report of the circumstances which resulted in the officer’s failure to accomplish a medical examination.” [END OF KERRY RELEASE EXCERPT]
The forged Aug. 1, 1972, memo alludes to the same Air Force Manual provision, with Killian saying he’s considering “covening a flight review board IAW AFM 35-13” to handle Bush’s case.
Though the information contained in the April campaign release mirrors that in forged memos broadcast by CBS in September, the similarities may be a coincidence.
In a February 2004 document dump, the White House released a batch of President Bush’s National Guard records, which included material cited in the Kerry press release.
In a February 12 story headlined “Bush’s Loss of Flying Status Should Have Spurred Probe,” the Boston Globe covered some of the same material. The Kerry release, however, cited not the Globe report as its source but “Aeronautical Orders” apparently included in the White House document dump.
The April 27 press release does show, however, that the topic of Bush’s flight suspension by Killian was very much on the Kerry campaign’s radar screen at least four months before CBS broadcast forged military records to further document the story.